Ever get upset over nothing? React more emotionally or forcibly than was justified? Explode irrationally, then wonder how you got there? There’s an art to thinking before you speak or act. And mindfulness for overreacting can help you avoid saying and doing things you later regret.
You know you are overreacting when you lash out at those you care about or become overly anxious about trivial things. Maybe you find yourself looking for things to get angry about, assume the worst about others, or are surprised by your own outbursts.
Overreacting often has nothing to do with the current situation. And everything to do with strong emotions – anger, fear, hurt – stored in your mind from past experiences.
Midlife women can find themselves prone to unexpected anger, outburst, with no clear idea of what triggered the reaction. Mood swings are a common feature of the peri- and menopause – up to 70 per cent of women report irritability. Fluctuating levels of oestrogen disturb the production of serotonin, a neurotransmitter involved in regulating mood.
How mindfulness for overreacting helps
Mindfulness helps you be in the present moment, without judging yourself. As has already been observed, a lot of reactivity stems from things that are not happening here and now. Mindfulness has been shown to reduce emotional reactivity, helping create more stability of mind and greater mental clarity. It helps in several ways:
- With mindfulness you develop the ability to observe your own mind. This allows you to recognize early signs and symptoms of overreacting. The more you can become aware, tuning in to subtle signs from your body and mind, the easier it becomes to stop yourself reacting. Try practicing the STOP meditation to cultivate this skill.
- With awareness comes greater ability to accept how you are feeling. It does not mean you will always feel ‘good’, but there is power in labelling, acknowledging how you feel, without needing to respond.
- When you are aware of what you are thinking, you can challenge habitual beliefs and thinking. Getting curious about what your mind is saying can help you create space between the chatter and your reactions.
Mindfulness helps you learn to experience your emotions and observe them, without being a slave to them.
Five practices to help you stop overreacting
There are lots of ways you can bring mindfulness into your daily life, to help you stop overreacting.
- Become a good listener: the next time you find yourself being triggered by something someone says, see if you can resist interrupting. Avoid jumping to conclusions or telling someone they are wrong. Sit back, relax, ask questions, paraphrase. Understanding better where someone is coming from can take the heat out of the situation.
- Practice slow talking: you get used to the speed at which you talk, so it becomes habitual. Slowing down, taking time to pause and breathe, gives your brain more time to process information.
- Notice what other lifestyle factors might make you more likely to overreact. Maybe you haven’t had enough sleep, you are in pain, you may be anxious about many things, or overthinking too much. Take what actions you can to address other stresses. Click on the links here for advice on mindfulness, and how to help yourself.
- Have an emergency protocol, such as the Navy Seals Box Breathing. Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of four; hold for a count of four; exhale slowly through your mouth for four; hold for four. Repeat for as long as you need.
- Delay reacting: let out your rage about someone cutting you up while driving, but count to 10 before doing so. Delaying your reaction teaches your brain that not everything requires an immediate reaction.
Mindfulness for overreacting is simple, but not easy. It takes time, but you can literally teach your brain to respond, not react. Try this practice to help you develop being an observer of your mind. It is 10 minutes long.
Mindfulness tip: mindfulness helps you be in the present moment, where you are less likely to react to strong emotions embedded from past experiences.
